My Relationship With Writing

                     My Relationship With Writing

I have never liked to write. I get nervous, my brain never seem to work when I write, and I get extremely frustrated. It is not surprising that I have lost hope of being a good writer, or even just an average writer, long ago. But things started to change since I failed the MTTC basic writing test…three times; I realized that I must get better in writing in order to move to the next level in this world, which led me to take on a Writing class at university of Michigan. Although it only has been three weeks in to the semester, I already have discovered that I need to work on my writings organization, present my thoughts with better details, and improve my vocabulary in order to improve my writing.
My thoughts on any topic are often flying all over the place in my head when I write, and it shows in my essays. Reading my essays is like trying to understand a person that’s just saying bunch of random thoughts. It would be a lot easier for readers, including myself, to understand if I organize my thoughts before I write it down. The way I used to write is brainstorm about the topic, and just type away. It was a great way to come up with an outline or a rough draft, but not as the final product. Another problem with this was I usually have so many thoughts and ideas that I would attempt to write them all down. These are the reasons my writing feels like its going everywhere, and yet nowhere. I now have adept a few good methods to fix these problems. I still brainstorm about the topic, but now instead of typing away, I write it down as an outline: I first decide how I feel about the topic, and what am I trying to answer with my writing. Then I filter down my thoughts and ideas that support my answer into three to four categories. I then come up with a brief introduction that’s short but has sufficient background information in it. Now, the next step is typing away with the outline. Once the introduction and the supporting paragraphs are done, I can then sum it up in the conclusion, which is like a recap for the essay, some personal feelings perhaps, and final thoughts. By doing these steps, I was able to organize my thoughts for this “my relationship to writing” essay by constructing an outline. The flow of my writing was a lot better because I had a clear direction to where I was going with the essay. This was the first big step I took toward being a better writer.
Now that my thoughts are nice and organized, I can move on to elaborating them. As I mentioned before, reading my essay is like trying to understand a person that’s just saying random thoughts, and those thoughts are brief and sometimes incomplete. It is not surprising that my writing is hard to follow, and does not fully express my thinking. It is not enough to just write down some thoughts without giving it some background, evidence, or a detailed explanation, and expect the essay to be complete. You have to consider your audience when you write in order to give your thoughts the right background, the right evidences, and the right details. I actually constructed my outline with this in mind, and it helps me filter my thoughts and ideas down to the most important ones, so it would be easier to elaborate. It is also important to have someone else to read it to see if you really put enough details in your writing. For me, personally, I spent a lot of time on thinking about the topic, and since I think about it so much, my mind get numb with little details. For example, I went on an awesome vacation this past summer; I went to Bahamas, Florida, Las Vegas, and Arizona, and I went snorkeling, skydiving, parasailing, and many others cool stuff. I was telling my friend about my vacation after I got back, and I focus so hard on what I did such as snorkeling, skydiving, I forgot to mention where I was when I doing those things (Bahamas, and Vegas). This is the prime example of being numb to little details, and the importance of peer review. For this essay, I had a friend of mine read review it to see if my thoughts are clear and going the right direction. He was quite impressed with the improvement I have made with my writing.
However, my friend that review my essay pointed out the problems I still have with my writing which is my awkward sentence structure and my lack of vocabulary. Unfortunately, there isn’t any template for me to follow to fix this problem. Since English is my second language, my sentences just do not flow right sometimes. It gets the points across, but the awkward feeling really ruins the essay. My vocabulary set is good enough to speak, but not enough to write. I often feel like I sound stupid, or childish using certain words. The only way out is to read more. When I first came to America, I use to carry a dictionary with me at all times. I had a book one, and a mini computer one. Every time I encounter a new word, I would look it up in my dictionary, then write it down in my vocab notepad. That was how I learn so fast, but ever since I was able to speak pretty well, and I can guess the meaning of a word when I read, I have stopped using my dictionary. I need to read more, and start a new vocab notepad again.
My biggest enemy in writing is procrastination. My procrastination definitely prevents me from being a better writer because it makes writing even more nerve wrecking than it already is since I often start writing not long before it’s due. I find many excuses to not write; when, for example, I suddenly have to do laundry. The truth is I get stuck between thinking and writing. I spent a lot of time thinking what I am going to write, and from many different point of views, but for some reason I would just sit there and wait until the essay is almost due to do it. I have a bad habit of trying come up with a perfect thing to say/write just in my head, which doesn’t happen often. I just simply have got to make a goal for every day to accomplish. The daily goals could be the outline, one paragraph, or the conclusion. As long as I start early, and leave myself enough time to actually compose a complete essay following the steps I mentioned previously in this essay. I still procrastinated with this essay, but not as bad. What I do is to stop by the language lab across the sweet waters writing center in north quad daily to complete my goals, and it is working out pretty good so far. I believe that I make this a routine for me, and it will become a good habit.
My relationship has improved a great amount since this semester started. I used to hate writing because I get so frustrated. I always felt that I could not express myself completely, and my writing flows so awkwardly even when I do get my point across. I avoid writing as much as I can, and it really got me nowhere. And it took me failing the same writing test three times for me to realize that I really need to get better. Since then, I have paid more attention on why I do not express myself fully in essays, and I found that I lack organization in my thoughts when I attempt to write. I often to have too many random thoughts on the topic, and they need to be filtered. I filter my thoughts by considering my audience, and choose my thoughts of the body paragraph carefully, and then I construct a outline which consist of an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. I also found the reason I do not express myself fully because I do not elaborate my thoughts enough. I cannot expect people to know exactly what I was thinking, so it is a good idea to explain my thoughts with more details. I have made some good steps towards being a better writer, but there are still a lot that I need to work on. For example, I really need to improve my sentencing structure and my vocabulary by reading more and using a dictionary when needed. I also still have to work on not procrastinate by establishing going to the language lab daily to even just read the class material as a routine, and make it a good habit. In the process of writing this essay, my relationship with writing has gotten better, and I am excited to continue getting better.  [DJ1] 
   

           

 [DJ1]Ok, great reflection and discussion here… nice work…

Think about the conclusion as a place to reflect and synthesize, instead of repeating/summarizing what you have said. The reader will have followed you to this point, so use the space to leave the reader with something to think about.